Grow Fearless...new artwork and a message for you.

This is a new painting and part of a new inspirational mixed media style for me.  I have been really evaluating what I want from all this, the blog, the etsy store, the craft shows, the art that I make.  I have some really big dreams for it all, hopefully resulting in the running of a creative retreat center.  Sometimes I get really overwhelmed by how far I still need to go to get there.  Sometimes those thoughts turn into negative voices telling me I wont get there so I should stop pretending that I will.  Do you have big dreams that seem so far away sometimes?  If so, I just wanted to say to you today to keep stretching, dont look back or hold yourself back with your fears, Keep Growing and Grow Fearless!  I think that everyone should live their life free of fear and hold on to a boldness of heart to always move forward towards whatever they desire for their lives.  Just wanted to encourage you with that today.  I am offering prints of this painting at my Etsy Store, if you want to bring one home to remind you each morning to Grow Fearless in your life.   My fearless moment in the next week or so will be putting all this new art I just finished out there for people to see, judge, and decide whether there is a market for it.  It is always a scary moment to put new work out in the public, when I dont know how it will be received, but it is my dream to make inspirational art to encourage closet creatives like I was for so long.  So for every "I dont like it" or "I could make that" comment I will hear at the show, I will hold on to courage and wait for the person that discovers the meaning and heart of my work and gains a bit of their own fearlessness.

Leave me a comment and let me know how you are going to take steps this week to be more fearless in your life.

XO, HARMONY

The Color of Fear and the Art of Being Brave

What does Fear look like to you?  To my 3 year old son, it looks like a red frog (which we think is his word for a dragon).  For the past 3 weeks he has been insistent that his bedroom door stay closed at night, demanding that we affirm that there are "no frogs" in the house.  It's terribly cute and equally sad, as it tears at my heart to know that he is scared and I cant fix it.  For no matter how hard we insist, nor what karate chopping moves my husband displays to show what happens to scary frogs that show up, neither our dutiful efforts to distract him and never mention the "f-word."  He still starts getting nervous at night-time and repeating "no frogs, mommy.  no frogs, daddy" until we shut his bedroom door.  We've tried putting him to sleep in his room with both of us with him, and putting him to sleep in our bed and then moving him, but both senarios end in a 3am terrified dash into our bed and a burrowing little boy into my side.  So here we are, with an abandoned bed in one room, and a floor full of baby boy and blankets in our own room, trying to find a way to help him be brave. 

the abandoned room

I also have to admit my own weakness for indulging his desire to be close to mom and dad during this phase.  I too had fears as a child, and they frequently brought me to my own parent's bedroom floor to feel safe at night.  Specifically, I had a reoccurring nightmare that would frequently bring me to a jolting wake-up, body covered in sweat and heart pounding.  Nothing would console me except to leave my room and sleep where I knew my protectors were.  Eventually it went away, and I found myself sleeping peacefully again, but I never forgot that nightmare. 

About 10 years ago, I was going through a really hard time emotionally, and started painting one afternoon to distract myself from my situation.  All I had to work with was some roughly cut old wood squares, a bunch of old canvas, and some really old house paint, and so I just started layering and layering, not thinking just painting. 

 I couldnt stop for 3 days, just layering colors over colors, square after square, until I ended up with a 6 square series of black, cream, and yellow stripes.  I thought very little about them, other than I thought they looked neat, and then I arranged them in a line, stood back, and found myself holding my breath.  I had painted my childhood nightmare.

I instantly felt a peace about my own life drama at that time.  I realized I had overcome hard things in the past and fears that was never able to truly understand, and I could do it again this time and grow from it.  I found my courage in those paintings, and I keep them on my dining room wall to this day to remind me that I am strong and brave, and that I can have courage to take on whatever life sends my way.

I hope this same lesson for my son, to find his own sense of courage and place of serenity.  Right now, it's my bedroom floor and that's ok.  One day when he's ready, I hope to teach him how to use his love of art making to bring him new discoveries about his own strength and spirit that he never knew before.  What are your fears?  How has art making been healing for you in those places?  What gives you courage?

 sleep tight sweet boy...

XO, HARMONY

Dream Flight and Fearlessness

 Fearless by Anahata Katkin 

Available here

 I adore this painting.  I have adored it since I first saw it on the Somerset Studio mag Cover.  It is a mixed media artwork by the very talented artist Anahata Katkin.  The word fearless is so powerful, and it is a constant goal that I hold for myself.  I've always struggled with shyness, lack of self confidence, and low self esteem, since I was a little girl.  Motherhood and Art making have both the catalysts in helping me grow past these boundaries and discovering what my true self could be like free of fear.  I am saving up to get a print of this painting.  I love it so and it must live in my art space with me.

I am excited to show you a bit more of my painting I did about being fearless.  I finally got the time to put all the scans of this large painting together and get a good print of the full painting.  I wanted to share her with you this morning.

Dream Flight...Mixed Media Painting done by me...2010

8X10 Print of her available here

Fear will always be a struggle for me when it comes to pursuing my dreams.  When I keep them as just dreams they hold all the potential in the world, and actually trying to make them real can be terrifying.  What will happen, will I fail, am I good enough to do this well, will someone else do this better?  A million questions plague my mind until I can be paralyzed to make any steps toward reaching my fullest potential. This lovely little girl helps me remember not to let my fear control what I do with my dreams.  She encourages me to keep going, because even when you start down the road of achieving a dream, there are tons of bumps along the road and fear starts to creep back in.  

I am hoping to get some time in my art making schedule soon and make a couple other friends for her in the same style.  I hope she brings you a smile today and helps you release a tightly held dream into the world today.  I am off to the printers to see if I can get a large size print made of her to mount on wood!  (am really excited about this)  Have a happy and blessed day!

A Flower and a Girl

I did it!  I overcame my fear and took a first step.  It was REALLY hard.  So many voices in my head telling me to stop, to paint over it and start again because its not good enough - which I did SEVERAL times!  But I knew this girl was in there somewhere, that if I tried long enough and hard enough, I could unearth her in the paint.  She's a bit of a self-portrait - not in the face of course (not ready to take on that challenge yet), but her style, her hair, her body shape and stance, her melancholy while standing in indecision, thats all me.  As I painted the true story began to take shape.  Its my moment, my first step, the choice to leave my comfort zone that does nothing for my spirit and enter the garden to grow my soul.

I want to make art all the time now.  Its all I think about.  I want to be an artist that can support herself with her creations and know that what I am making will go on to inspire others and bring connection, hope, and joy.  I have discovered this to be my calling as a witness to my Creator.  I am beautifully made to make beautiful things!  I recently undertook a 9month long internship with my husband seeking out our Spiritual Calling as a family.  I think the best piece of truth that I took with me from that experience was to "pay attention to the things in our lives that bring us the most joy and we hold the most passion for, for it is in there that we will find our Calling from God."  He has given me my art back and let the pieces of myself that I scattered and ignored for so long, start to heal back together.  I think I have found my Calling. 

Fear, loathing, and painting faces

Today I was thinking about Trust and Fear. Specifically how they relate to me as an artist and the risks that I do and do NOT take in my art.  This thought pattern came from my ecourse I am taking from Kelly Rae.  It is challenging me to rethink my process, open up old wounds, confront my weaknesses head on, and challenge my comfort zone.  So I am terrified to try to paint people again.  I havnt done so since 1993, when I left art school for the "real world." I keep myself from doing people because I know that I will have to face the reality that I am not as good as I used to be.  That perhaps my art is (gasp!) bad.  I cant keep doing this though.  If I am really to move forward I have to put myself out there and take a risk and make (gasp!) bad art, to allow room for the good art to peek through and, hopefully, take over.

So I did this painting...

Its just a start.  The girl needs a lot of work, esp in the face, and I am not sure exactly where I was going with it, but it will come to me along the way I suppose.  I wanted to try using alcohol on the paints to make them run, and went a bit overboard.  I really like how the flowers turned out, but the girl... not so much.  I'll try again and show you what I end up with.


Then I wanted to do something really free.  So I employed my 2 year old son Israel, a budding artist i tell you.

He LOVES painting with momma, so we got all set up and did some collage/painting (which involves me squirting paint onto the cardboard in color palettes that I like, him having a party with the paintbrush on it, while I slap down collage pieces in between his brush strokes.
Once they are all dry and done, I'll post pics of them.