Monday, June 7, 2010

Does it have to be a choice?

I am really starting to own the fact that I am an artist.  I have been loving this process so much and the more that I let art creep into my daily life, the happier and more at peace I am in my Spirit.  I sit down in the morning with my cup of coffee and a bagel and look over the work I had done the night before, getting more excited and inspired to pick back up with that particular project today.  I get in the zone, the rest of the world clears away, my heart soars, I feel completely at peace, pick up my paint brush, and then...

TUG TUG TUG... pulling at my pants leg.  He's awake.

This is the moment, the choice that I have to make everyday over and over.  Be an Artist, or be a Good Mother.  I could pop a video in for him, keep him occupied with a waffle, some juice, and Buzz LightYear.  This would give me almost two hours to get lost in my painting, create something new, put up a new blog post, catch up on other blog posts, catch up on my Kelly Rae E-course (I am so behind on those posts!), check on etsy sales, or whatever my heart desired as an Artist.  I COULD do this and it would be fine, but I SHOULD put down the paint brush, take his little hand and have breakfast together, then take a walk outside to find some bugs, visit our local library storytime, cuddle up together reading our favorite story books, make a wholesome and nutritious lunch, and so on and so on. 

So I choose my son, (we all knew I would), and hang on to the hope that today he will take an amazing 2-hour nap that will allow me to work for a bit in the afternoon....  Which, of course, doesnt happen.  He sleeps for only 30 minutes and wakes up cranky and clingy and wants to be on top of me ALL THE TIME!  My prepared paints sit exposed to the air and untouched until they are unusable.  My halfway finished painting stares at me screaming to be worked on.  I see it in my head, what I want to do to it next, visualize working on it, all while pushing a stroller around the block with my whiny 2-year old inside.  Before I know it, it's 5pm.  My husband is home from work and wanting to spend time together as a family, dinner needs to be made, then time for baths and bed time routine, and if I am lucky, I will get a little bit of time to work before I go to bed, but often I am so wiped out from 2-year old playtime all day that I just give up and go to bed.

Its a battle like this everyday.  And I will admit that some days, I do put on the 2 hour morning movie so I can connect a little bit with myself, the self that I knew before I became a Mommy.  Inevitably, I always feel guilty about this choice.  Like I am trading in my son's experiences for my own.  I feel like a Bad Mom on those days.  Is is always a choice like this?  How to you other mommies do it?  Can you be both a great Artist and a Great Mommy at the same time?

Today I am going to try to have them both.  I will keep trying everyday, until I get it right - or he grows up and starts needing me less ;)

So we are off today to the printers to get 2 paintings scanned, get prints made, a stop at the post office to ship my weekend etsy sales, and then a trip to the local natural history museum. 

(And seriously, I welcome any tips on balancing full-time mothering a toddler and part-time art business.)

Have A Creative Day!


  1. Hello Harmony,
    I'm in class with you...and popped over 'cuz I love your blog name.
    All I can say about the mommy that you ARE being a good mommy. and that this time..this too shall pass.
    btw, I love your art on this post.

  2. Hi Harmony, Just stopping by to say hello from Flying lessons. I was going to send you an email about some photographing and printing info I had sent to Barbara, another fellow classmate who asked me this morning. Also, just follow your heart, it will always tell you what you need to do in every moment. You are exactly where you are suppose to be. Your work is lovely! xoxo Valerie

  3. Flying over from Kelly Rae's class...I remember those days when my kids were young and I was trying to stay in touch with my creative side (I wrote about it recently on my blog)'s a mix, or better yet, a juggling act. Some days you do pop in the video...and they will survive. I know most days you don't do that...but I'm here to tell you that they will also be richer knowing their mommy as an artist!

    Did you watch the trailer to "who does she think she is?" It will help.

    Keep juggling!

  4. Hi Harmony~

    To me being a good mom means you're also an artist. You need to be creative daily, which visually shows your kids how integral art is in Life. They observe you more than you know.

    To be a good artist one must also be a mother to all of her creations, whether they be her children, paintings, etc., they need to be nurtured and nourished.

    It's not easy sometimes. Hardest damn thing you'll ever do! But it's your journey and it's temporary. Just like we learned in Flying Lessons! And your darling photos show us that you're a great mom and a great artist :)

    Rock on, sistah!!

  5. Hey Harmony, fellow flight passenger! I'm so thankful that you visited me, your comment meant so much. I'm in Deltona, just on the edge of Lake Helen and DeLand. I still get my old town fix but I sure miss Mt. Dora!

    You ARE an excellent mother, your son is blessed! I saw the pictures of you guys painting together + my heart melted! Don't feel bad about taking time out for YOU ;)

    I'm glad we've connected + I'm so glad to be on this journey with you! Your art is delicious... I know how you feel about finding that time though, keep rocking those little and big snippets of time and making that beautiful art! I LOVE the journal necklaces SO MUCH!

    With Love,

  6. I really really like how you describe and write about yourself. I'm so proud of you. I lived with you together and you're and amazing mom!!! and look at you art?! You have soo much awesome artstuff ... journals ... ideas ... necklaces and more. Don't give those bad thoughts room in your heart and your minds!!!
    You are beautiful. honestly!!!
    your german direct and honest friend!


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