Wednesday, September 14, 2011
From My Art Journal: Embracing the Good with the Bad
I sat down last night with the intention of creating a few pages in my art journal trying out some new stamps I had carved. It was supposed to be both intentional, since I needed to create a few new designs for my materials, and also therapeutic for me to zone out, as my day had been hectic and exhausting and now my husband needed to go out for a few hours leaving me in charge of night time routine with our 3 year old (an hour long battle every time, that I was willing to put off and avoid for at least another 30 minutes). So I thought I would take a bit of time while my son was occupied with his trains in the other room and have some creative play time just for mommy. So I thought... About ten minutes into it he shows up and insists that the paintbrush is his and that he should be painting. "Ok." I shift my work space to make room for him next to me, give him his own papers to work on and go back to my own work. This however, would not do for him. He was apparently feeling more like collaborative work with mommy, and continued to take over my paper and execute his vision. No matter how many times I started over, he would not let me finish a page without his heavy handed paint job on top. (and let me add taking frequent breaks to jump on me and tickle me and pull at my clothes). As cute as this was, I found myself getting frustrated and a little touch sensitive. "I've been with you all day doing activities and playing, cant mommy have a bit of time before showers!" was all I kept thinking. It was at this point that the now very strong and active little guy in my uterus decided to join the fun and began kicking away at my already uncomfortable belly. I kind of just wanted to run away and hide. But then I just took a deep breath and let go. I let the "bad" art happen all over my pages and then joined him, tossing to the wind any thought of what was good in terms of color palette, form, texture, design. We just painted and it looked awful, but it was fun. In that moment, I learned that my life isnt going to slow down and isnt going to be less crazy anytime soon, so if I dont figure out how to embrace those chaotic moments and just be a part of it, it will end up swallowing me whole. So here's to an insane lifestyle of motherhood and building an art business. You'll pardon me while I go take a nap.