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Monday, June 13, 2011

The Waiting is Over! My Spring has Arrived.

 New piece!  (click on pic to see details)
"Waiting for Spring" by Harmony 2011
11 X 17 Mixed Media on Wood

I love being a mom and I also love being an artist.  Right now, I am also trying to squish in my predisposition and passion for the field of family counseling, which has rendered me feeling less than successful at all three.  I had all these ideas for what I was going to accomplish in my art-world this year, most of which have been shelved due to lack of time and energy.  I was adamant that I was going to really focus on keeping myself as strong and healthy as I possibly can for my second pregnancy (trying to avoid my family curse of the women becoming overweight after having multiple babies), but here I am 18 weeks into the process and I am already 3 lbs over the healthy target weight gain I had set for myself, trying very hard to keep my weight gain to 10lbs for the first 20 weeks.  I guess that means no more sugar and extra exercise for me for the next few weeks. (sigh...all i want to do is lay on the couch and eat carbs!).  In counseling, well, I get through it.  Some sessions are more exciting and creative than others.  I planned on really pushing myself during this clinical experience and trying to truly find my groove as a clinician, but often I find that I resorted to plain-old talk-based sessions and count down the minutes until our hour is over.  My three year old had finally decided that he had enough of mommy leaving and being left with a nanny, and so instead of his cheerful "bye-bye mommy!"and a kiss, he's now screaming, bawling, clinging to my leg as I squeeze out the door, "no, mommy, no mommy!"  Let me tell you leaving with a full heart of guilt and tears in my eyes really puts me in the right frame of mind to handle listening to other people's crises for the next 5 or so hours.  So after several weeks of floundering and telling myself it will get better, my winter of waiting has finally ended and it's like Spring has arrived with new life! - or more specifically, summer started ;) Public schools have let out for the summer, and while most other families are dealing with the headache of "what to do with the kids during the day while we work" sort of stuff, I am celebrating the release of my Oh So Helpful husband from his teaching job for almost 3 whole months (translates into the rest of my clinical internship semester).  Finally! I can take a few hours before going to work to paint, or run errands without a cranky 3 year old, and when I leave I get the happy go lucky "bye-bye" again, because how could you be sad when you get to hang out with your awesome Dad?!  Case in point... I got 4 whole hours to myself yesterday to paint and finally finished a piece I had started months ago.  (seen above)  It felt so good!  It is a larger painting with LOTS of mixed media incorporated, plaster, canvas scraps, vintage lace, fabric, acrylic paint, graphite, ink, stamping, carving, SO Textured and fun!  I also got to spend a sweet couple hours with a friend (I miss having friends in my days!) talking and planning some super fun artsy stuff together for the Fall Festival season.  I am starting to feel a bit less fragmented and more like myself with every passing day since my help arrived.  So the lesson in my story is, Moms, we can do it all but we wont feel very good about ourselves while we are doing it.  In fact, we might even lose parts of ourselves that make us feel whole.  Be good to yourself and your family, and take your breaks, simplify, remember that happy mommies means happy family. 

3 comments:

  1. Your words so touched my heart this morning . . . I am so glad for all the wonderful things going on in your life. These are exciting times. So glad you are finding time for your art, it is an important part of who you are!
    Love you!
    Donna
    xoxoxo

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  2. Oh my gosh!
    It's gorgeous! It's just the same like my life right now. Crazy. The picture, your words and the mainly the picture-meaning touched me a lot!!! Thanx. May be I should buy it! How could I convince my husband ... ;o) I miss you and I miss your artwork around me!!!
    Corinna

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